A quest for meaning, a search for answers, the pursuit of life, beauty and humanity in an inhumane world. *Edit* Do no Harm.
Bye bye grey blog. It was nice for a change but now it's back to green. I'd say that the protest was overall a smashing success, however the fallout has yet to be fully digested. We'll see if anything positive or negative comes out of this demonstration.
In other news, check out this 'deer in headlights video' of the commander in chief of the U.S. of A. answering straightforward questions with his usual grace and style. Notice his eyes, his stance, his general defensive posture. Very enlightening.
Finally a bit of meta news - Wally has finished remastering the last of our audio conversations. We start off talking about Waking Life and meander through many subjects from google to a bottle of whiteout. This was recorded sometime in October of 2003 I believe, although I could be wrong. It's not a bad one, but we do come off as pompous pricks so be warned.
Here's the Grey Album bitTorrent link if you're interested. If you don't have bitTorrent I suggest you get it. It's pretty neat, and it comes bundled in with Shareaza which is all in all a superior P2P software package. BitTorrent works by forcing you to upload as you download - no leeching here! This alleviates the strain of hosting large files on individual servers - the bandwidth costs get spread amongst all those who download it. Very communistic and very back to the roots of what the Internet is all about.
Tomorrow, a form of digital disobedience will occur. Many sites are participating in a protest called Grey Tuesday to take a stand on musical rights. Many of you may not appreciate remixed music or hip hop, but they are incrediblly influential and beautiful as forms of musical art.
There is never enough time in this world. There are so many things I want to do and ideas I want to explore that I get lost in a sea of choices and end up wasting away my precious time on this earth. At this point I have to come to some decisions about where my life is taking me, whether I should be planning to travel or preparing to go back to University, whether I should be starting a new business or exploring more meditative pursuits. I'm lost in a sea of choices and I'm looking for a sail, or at least a compass to guide me in the right direction. I'm afraid if I don't make a decision then I'll live to regret my indecision. I don't know where the sense of urgency is coming from but I still feel it. As always, I'm looking for suggestions.
Wally sent me this link about Futurology and how they believe they can use physics to explain the behaviour of the masses. Kind of like psychohistory in Asimov's Foundation series.
If we assume that at all levels of complexity entities make value choices, then it would be easy to infer that they all follow the same rules of probabilities when making them. What we see as fact in the interaction of matter at the subatomic level could really just be highly predictable value choices by the matter at that level. However, this allows for the possibility of matter to interact and choose a different unpredicted path, however improbable. I guess that's why in string theory there exists the probability that you will walk through that wall as opposed to hitting it, despite the overwhelming odds against it.
Likewise, it would allow for more complex entities like ourselves to follow and interact based on the same rules of probabilities as the sub atomic partices. You have to keep zooming out and believe that the rules work at all levels. Then our choices become probabilities, and it's up to us to fight against the odds when it comes time to roll the dice. Perhaps thats what life is, taking the chance and going the road less followed, but in the end making all the difference.
It's hard to describe living here. It seems to me that there are so many pluses and so many negatives. You have the bitter cold, and let me tell you it does get bitter. A week ago it felt so cold that I began to wonder if the Sun hadn't been just snuffed out, and the chill I felt was the slow emptyness of space about to consume us. It gets cold. I'm finding though that I don't mind it as much as I used to, even though practically speaking I spend more time outside in the winter then I normally would because of the smoking ban. I guess all it does for me is intensify sensation and provide a stark contrast against our realities of room temperature. Yes it can get this cold but soon enough it will be warm again. The sweet isn't as sweet without the bitter.
Tonight I went out with the boys, Wally and Bruce; we listened to some Winnipeg hip-hop, relaxed, smoked a bit of pot and talked about complexity, consciousness and the evolution of the world. See, this is what I do, and what I love about my life sometimes. I've been blessed with the opportunity to explore new thoughts because of high quality parenting and a high quality social system. So many people have really, shitty, lives. I can not ever say that mine has ever been really shitty. The fact that I can pass an evening listening to some dope lyrics while contemplating the nature of the universe with best friends is a testament to the living and learning conditions that brought me here. I love my life, I just wish I could share it with the world.
Winnipeg has been a fundamental social structure in my evolution as a being. There's something to be said for a cheap arctic town which everyone forgets about. It allows creativity to spawn, to grow in a petri dish free of global perception. Although I'm not the biggest fan of hip hop (I honestly cannot understand the lyrics unless they're really, really good - I keep focusing on the rappers ability to use his words as a beat and it distracts me from the message) - I still appreciate the fact that the Winnipeg Hip-hop scene is thriving here. Hip hop is a fascinating topic, much like all music can be. An expression of the moment tempered through the use of lyrical rhyme. "It's like an expression of rage by people who feel neglected and turned away by the system." That's what true hip hop does, it digs deep into the collective conscious perception of a group of people and brings it to the attention. Focuses the window. Spotlights on, mic ready, this moment is dedicated to this meme. It's all about memes.
Some meta news - I'm starting a company with my family. I was thinking HyperCompuGlobalMegamart, but that's pretty long to fit on a pen. I'm looking for a name (it's been left up to my discretion) but I'm having trouble coming up with a good one. It's a very nebulous idea at this stage; very internet orientated. I can't decide what medium or method it will produce, but I know that it will ultimately have to do with memes, so I'd like to have the world meme or some deriivative in there. If anybody has any suggestions, please leave a comment. I'd love to hear what you guys think.
Ladies (ya right - like any girls come here!), please disregard this post as the question I am about to ask does not pertain to you. Well, in some ways it does but it's like the question of abortion - that's always a womans choice (in my mind). This however is a man's choice.
So I got a piece of spam today (one of maybe 100 I get at work) that made me wonder about the lengths that men go to in order to, *ahem*, enlarge their members. So I pose this question: Would you put your dick in this?
Conan O'Brien was in Toronto for today's show. It was a wonderfully strange experience for both Canadians and I'm sure Conan. There was a bit of Winnipeg slander in his opening segment but I'm willing to ignore that. If nothing else the truth in his jibes is a testament to the trials of Winnipeg existence, which only a Winnipeger knows. His show (and other events) has brought me to the realization that I should probably spend more time discussing Canadian politics as there is little that I can do to affect American ones. Only problem is that I don't know as much about Canadian politics as I do about American.
There's an interesting definition of conservatives and liberals on this is class warfare. Very succinct description if you ask me. Liberals and conservatives are going to war in Canada right now, this upcoming election ought to be an interesting one. The Liberals in power are beset by scandal and corruption. The conservatives are still trying to put together a whole party after it split a dozen years ago. Interesting times indeed. Thank god that Canada doesn't just have two parties - other parties balance them out. There's always lots of choice up here.
How many of you have ever been to wikipedia.org? It's an interesting site - a user edited and contributed encylopedia of knowledge. I happened to come across an unused entry for The King of Canada and I felt I should contribute at least something. I've also contributed to the Sustainability Wike, but I suppose that's on a different network. Ah well, at least I'm throwing a bit of information pollution out there.
The future economy lies in information. Email, webpages, Instant Messenger conversations are all very personal to the consumer and therefore eventually of great value. If, through unforseen circumstances like a fire or harddrive failure, this information is lost it will be a tragic event for the individual, akin to losing all of their photo albums in a flood. As more and more people connect to the internet this problem will occur for more and more people. In order to prevent this tragedy we should offer secure, safe and dependable information storage.
There are many advantages to owning a small corner of the internet by paying for a hosting service. You can set up a personal webpage, host any file and access your email wherever you go. Your own personal computer becomes less important as your ability to access all your personal files follows you through your days. Many people may think 'well I spend most of my time in front of my computer', but it's the times when you need it most that you're often away. The security in knowning that wherever you go, your personal data goes with you will become an ever increasing utility that I believe people will pay for, provided that they're guaranteed security and a measure of performance. Noone will pay for a service that is slow and buggy.
There is one problem with bringing this kind of service into the present economy. At this moment there is not much practical application for owning server space. Most of the people who pay a hosting service for personal reasons are bloggers. Blogging is a huge growth market as more and more people go online and find their voice. This is the first killer app of the hosting industry. People are willing to pay for hosting because they get higher quality service and the reliability of a professional information bank. Blogging however will not bring everybody into the information economy, that's why more applications need to be developed in order to take advantage of the benefits that internet hosting provides. This is the key: providing useful software for the consumers of the hosting software. If one wants to push hosting, one needs to provide the carrot. If the carrot is free then that sweetens the deal for the consumer.
Not only is there plenty of new ideas that can grow from prolific personal hosting, there's also many olds ideas which increase in quality. Email becomes central, no matter where you go your email goes with you. Photo galleries are viewable by anyone at anytime. Your contacts are there when you need them, your personal reminders remind you when they're supposed to, not two hours too late. These are just some examples of what you can do with current technologies. Imagine what you can do with future ones.
Ideas. If the internet is the marketplace then ideas are the product. What then is the currency? Patents I suppose. Many of you are aware of the problems we have with the current patent system, but most people think that the only way to solve the problem is to change the system. The problem lies in the fact that once a system get's rolling it becomes very difficult to change it. It's not as if we can change all of the patent laws to suit the needs of the wired generation. The foundation of our world is built on bricks like this. Perhaps what we instead need to do is come up with a new system that's specific to software but also a superset of current intellectual properly laws. Make no mistake, this is something we have to address before our capitalistic society can grow in new directions.
It would be nice to see a convergence of open source programmers with some sort of limited software patent. I wish that dedicated hackers who spent all their free time programming for altruistic purposes could in some way program open source software for a living. Rent and food are harsh pins for that particular bubble. I'm not sure of what the best way to go about it is but I do know that the future of quality software development depends on it. Look at the battle between Linux and Windows. Windows has had billions of dollars thrown at it and Linux has been developed for free. In terms of security and reliability in the server market there is no question that Linux is superior. If we're looking at ease of use and availability of quality software then Windows is the clear winner. Nonetheless the Linux platform is the better platform for future growth as it's more stable, less buggy and more efficient in terms of computer performance. Yet every line of code has been given for free for the sole purpose of building a better operating system.
That's why the open source movement and the geeks behind it are the heroes that we'll look back on with great admiration. They were willing to put it on the line and contribute to the greater good not for money but for altruistic purposes and praise from their peers. That's admirable in my books.
Programmers, hosters, content providers; these are all the people who are at the forefront of the information revolution. It's a slow process but it's also a methodical and inexorable one. I'm a firm believer in six degrees of seperation but it's only an effective tool for social change if people communicate with each other. Ideas and memes are the digital virii of the 21sth century but sometimes, just sometimes, a virus can be a Good Thing.
I originally wrote this short story for the CBC Literary Awards but as they've contacted the finalists and I wasn't one of them, I think it's safe for me to post it here. If you like it please link to it. I posted it to Kuro5hin.org's Fiction section where it's currently about to voted off. Hmmm, yay for niche stories...
The Colour of Orr
The horizon curved beneath her and she was happy - it was a glorious night to be dancing in the sky. The stars above were twinkling at her in a familiar way just as the nodes beneath her (sporadic as they were) pulsated with a warm dull throb. Their awareness filled her essence. It was a good night to be alive! She looked at her companions as they weaved in and around each other in a complex pattern, and she felt at peace. Here I am! I am a part of this, adding wonder to the world! She doubled her energy and for a moment was lost in the hum of the universe as she danced about, light as air across the sky. She felt the awareness of the nodal points increase and knew that her efforts were being appreciated. She felt happy but tired and knew her companions felt the same. It was time to disperse.
As she flew over the barren whiteness cloaked in forest's shadow, she watched a deer nibbling at a bit of grass poking up through the day's fresh snow. She observed the pine trees as their sap cooled for the coming winter, as they focused inward in preparation for the long wait. She felt a bear curling up inside his den, a slow lazy dream descending upon him. She was awash with the wonder. The energy that existed between these creatures and Mother Nature was inspiring. She knew that she could happily observe this delicate balance and be content forever if not for the hunger.
She felt a distant convergence of the community taking place; a meme was travelling back and forth at an astonishing rate as new information was being digested. As more and more self's converged, she was irresistibly drawn from her musings to join the rest and find out what had the community in such a state. As she drew closer, she began to pick up bits of conversation.
"It's not safe, that area is no longer welcome to us!"
"Think of the energy, we could be full for months!"
"Their perversion of nature will taint us - we don't want to bring that back here to the Great White."
As she approached she saw the elders were embroiled in a fierce debate; thoughts and ideas changed hands so quickly they began to meld into a fractious almost violent struggle between opposing ideals. She knew that her voice was not needed here, so she asked her mother's sister Shar "What's all the commotion about?" Shar replied "Ra has given us a gift of energy but the majority will fall in the land down below. We shouldn't go there."
She was puzzled by this response, and queried Shar further.
"That area does not belong to us, it belongs to the others. We will be hurt if we travel into their world."
"But think about how much we could feast, and how much wonder we could spread! Perhaps the others only need to see us dance?" asked Perc, her brother.
Just then the din of the elders ceased; consensus was reached. Elder Uni separated himself from the others to address the assembly.
"It is our decision that we must take advantage of this rare feast. Ra has sent us this gift; it would be foolish to reject it because of our fears. We shall head to the other's land at once over the cover of clouds."
Perc was ecstatic with the decision. He started looping and whooping in delight causing great consternation with the elders.
"Perhaps the land down below isn't suitable for children," spoke Elder Uni. "Maybe only those with some wisdom are prepared for the other's presence."
"No, no mother of my father, I'm ready. I'll behave," moaned Perc, who had turned a faint purple in embarrassment.
Without further ado, the community headed downwards toward the site of the great feast. The clouds prevented them from perceiving the Mother as they journeyed, but the Father was in full display, his pale luminescence guiding the way.
"What is so terrible about the others?" asked Perc.
"They have no sense of balance," replied Elder Uni. "They cannot see past their own lifespan and thus have no sense of the consequences of their actions."
Elder Uni sighed green and continued. "They have an extraordinary thirst for knowledge but it is tempered by their lust for physical things. They consume so much of the Mothers treasure without giving it a second thought."
"They sound evil!" cried Perc.
"They are not so, my grandson. There are some among them who seem to realize the destructive nature of their society. We've observed conflict unfold surrounding the logging of trees and the slaughter of our whale kin. We can only hope that these are not radicals lashing out against the majority."
"I wish they would all die and leave the Mother alone!" exclaimed Perc with a tone of red finality.
"Brother Perc, if they were all dead we'd be dead as well, right Elder Uni?"
"Not quite, beloved granddaughter. We would not be dead but we would not be having this conversation, or any other conversation for that matter. We'd be no more sentient than the deer, the bear or the wolf."
She and Perc both looked confused, so the Elder elaborated.
"Before the others came along we existed, but purely as reactive creatures. We consumed Ra's gift, danced, and turned ourselves in the passing. But these were only instincts; we had no thoughts of our own.
"After a period of time that is lost to us, the others started to spread across the world. We could only watch and observe the few that lived near the Great White, but as they saw us dance, their awareness of us formed nodal points. These in turn increased our complexity and brought about our consciousness.
"So you see we are dependent on them for our society just as they are dependent on us for the balance of the Mothers atmosphere."
"You'd think they'd appreciate that," interjected Que, the quiet one. "But you'd be wrong. They think that we're mere random streaks of light across the sky, a pretty show caused by a solar wind from Ra."
"Que, your cynicism is not needed here. The others know we exist, otherwise why would they form nodal points and add to our being?" retorted Elder Uni.
"Perhaps the nodal points are just children who do not know better. I've observed them just as long as you have Uni and they show no signs of understanding the nature of our existence." With a flick of red Que left to the fringe of the community where his hue undulated between red, yellow and a hint of green.
"Never mind Que children, he's always been a bit distempered since his encounter with one of their flying transports."
There was little more discussion as the gift from Ra began to envelope them. As they reached the peak intensity the clouds beneath them were breaking up. A sigh echoed through the group as the dance started; instinct took over and the feasting began.
Striations of colours flickered and fluctuated around her as her companions intermingled and feasted. Patterns were created, modified and destroyed in an instant. She lost herself in the moment as the hunger took over, awed by the magnitude of Ra's gift. She felt the intensity of the feeding consuming the other selfs as their individuality was lost in the chaos. Like a cold iridescent fire they consumed the sky, flicking, growing and fading, expanding and contracting as their instincts took command. She was lost now, too, her self merged with the community in a way that she never fully understood, but always appreciated afterwards. What little was left of her conscious thought supposed this was how new selfs were created; bits and pieces from everyone else combined with the raw energy from Ra to produce a new unique entity.
She also wondered where this insight was coming from, as she hadn't ever given much thought to the reproductive process of her species. She had always just had a mother and a father to look after her as she was learning; she had never questioned how she came about. With dawning realization she became aware of the nodal points beneath her, the vast quantity of them temporarily overwhelming her. The dull throb that she was used to had become a crushing roar as awareness of the dance from the others washed over the group in great waves. There were so many others here! Look at how much awareness these creatures created! This incredible audience renewed her fervour and she danced as she had never danced before, painting a mosaic of colours as bright and as colourful as Ra's rising.
There was another self beside her that she didn't know well, but as they danced together their energy intermingled in a new and profound way. They curled and snarled in amongst the rest in revelry that she had never experienced before. The nodal points below seemed to appreciate this display and throbbed more intensely. Conscious thought totally abandoned her.
As she arose from her daze, she sensed a new entity beside her. She looked at its frail cohesiveness and realized she had birthed a son. "What is your name?" she cooed, trying to produce an intelligent response from the newborn.
"Orr." he rasped, fluctuating between beige and yellow. "Where am I?"
"We are in the land of the others, below our home. It is time for us to return to the Great White," she replied.
"I'm hungry," he moaned quietly. She replied "Dance a little now with what's left of Ra's gift, and we will feast when we return home."
Orr danced alone, consuming the remnants of the energy. He confidently moved from concentration to concentration efficiently and without hesitation. His movement was lithe and purposeful, his colours varying between grey and brown. When he was done he joined his mother.
The group enveloped them and they started the long journey back. With cloud cover gone, she was able to observe the entirety of the other's awesome devastation. There was little conversation as the magnitude of the destruction of the Mother seeped into their collective consciousness. Even Perc seemed sombre.
"I do not believe it would be wise for us to return here," he said. "Surely this tainted perception of the world affects us in ways we do not understand. If we wish to remain true to ourselves, we should have as little to do with the others as possible."
"Wise words, from one so young," replied Elder Uni. "But I believe you forget the source of that wisdom. It is, and always will be, about balance."
Perc conceded the point with a flash of purple and joined Orr. The two of them went to the fringe of the group while she and Elder Uni continued the discussion.
"I am worried about your child, grandchild. He does not seem as you or I. I fear that the others stained his soul during his birth. I cannot help you raise him as my time of passing approaches." whispered Elder Uni. A shiver of dread fluttered through her form as the dire prediction was processed.
Que silently sidled next to her and Elder Uni. "Can you taste it?" he asked. "The price of their progress? The Mother is dying in these lands and yet the others go about their lives, too wrapped up in the needs of the now to notice the decay around them."
"Perhaps you're right Que but I refuse to give up on them. With time I'm sure they will come to see the error of their ways." replied Elder Uni.
"But you, grandchild," he continued, "You have a great responsibility before you. I see it clearly now; your child was born in the bath of a vast amount of perceptive energy. He has much strength in him if only he learns to use it wisely."
She flashed yellow and went to join her son for the long voyage home.
* * * * *
"Do you understand now why we must turn ourselves when it is our time of passing?" Her son thrashed violently around her, a mass of nervous energy.
"Yes, but when are we going to feed again?"
"In time, but first the council must elect a new Elder to replace Uni. You children must watch and learn the process for when it is your turn."
With a derisive flash of blue Orr turned and left the assembly. Shocked, his mother frantically followed. After some time she caught up.
"Where are you going, son? Did you not hear what I said?"
Orr turned around and faced his mother. "I do not care about our traditions. There is food over here and I'm hungry."
Orr continued on his previous course until he reached a spot of heavy concentration. At once he started the dance, only this was horribly different. Instead of a joyous celebration of life, an aurora of colours and shapes, his dance was a malevolent process of avarice and consumption. His mottled form flashed greys, cold wisps of white and a deep blackness that ate away at the stars above.
His mother called out "Orr, what are you doing? You're not spreading any wonder! Can you not feel the animals hiding, these few nodal points getting dimmer and dimmer? This dance of yours is an aberration of nature!"
Orr ignored her and continued his grotesque feeding. The animals that hadn't fled were now trying to burrow to get out of sight of the terrible display. The nodal points winked out one by one as the others refused to acknowledge Orr's presence. With horror his mother looked on as despair engulfed her. She wept purple for her people, the others, and most importantly the Mother.
I was going to refrain from discussing 'nipplegate' until thekitty pointed me to this depressing article: Tenn. Woman Files Suit over Super Bowl. Two quotes:
Outrage, anger and embarrassment - are they litigation material? If they were I would say that half of the population of the states would start a class action lawsuit against the supreme court for allowing Bush to expose his nipplegate. And injury? Did this woman get whiplash from the shock of seeing a sinful breast exposed? The shame of it all!
The second quote though, that's the one that makes me very sad. Billions of dollars in compensatory and punative damages - not only does this expose that absolute lack of relevance that the judiciary process holds in the U.S. right now but also the blind, opportunistic greed that it's faithful alcolytes worship. Overhaul is needed, before it's too late.
You vote on it's quality with a link. Incubus's Megalomaniac has been getting a lot of air time on the radio up here in Canada. You gotta love the fact that these guys have vocalized what so many of us our feeling. It's strange but it really feels like this upcoming election in November is one of those critical moments in history - where the fate of a country and the world rests in the vote of every American. So go out there and vote! Spread the word! If there should ever be an election with a high turnout it should be this one.
Politics, politics, politics. This is definately going to be the year of internet political debates. Well, at least we're not talking about people. It gets hard to only come up with ideas all the time...