The girl from the bus

I am certainly no Don Juan, but I pride myself on my ability to chat up the ladies. Of course it never leads anywhere but at the same time I always enjoy the conversations. There was one however that struck me deep to the bone but unfortunately it was not meant to be…..

I am constantly late for work. I’m pretty sure that some people are just genetically incapable of going to bed before a certain time, and for me that time is somewhere around 2:30AM. This unfortunately leads me to a state of near perfect tardiness. I’m slowly making changes in this department but nonetheless the call of the night is seductive and sweet, and very hard to ignore.
It was a couple of months ago that I noticed this girl checking me out on the bus. It always seemed to me that I would catch her looking at me and she would catch me looking at her. I remember this one point where it was just the two of us at our transfer point and although neither of us said anything, we were both thinking about each other. I lit a cigarette and she followed suit. Communication without words – we’re talking pure body language. Maybe that’s the way it should have stayed but I digress.
So over the next few days I desperately tried to think of some opening line, some witty remark that could start a conversation. Nothing came to mind in this case (my ability to chat the ladies only seems to happen in dark bars after a few drinks), and the agony was driving me nuts. I remember very clearly stepping off the bus but giving her a big smile, and when she smiled back I knew there was something there. We’re not talking about a tight lipped who-the-hell-is-this-guy grin, we’re talking about a glorious smile, a smile that could light up a room. I knew the next time I saw her I’d talk to her.
Later the next night after having a wicked time with some friends at a show, I was driving home at around 1:30am when I came to a stop light at grant and kenaston. As I was approaching I saw a figure at the bus stop and I knew – I knew it was her. And it was. It’s a good thing it was a long light otherwise I would never have worked up the courage to offer her a ride. She accepted and we proceeded to have a fantastic conversation, a truely inspiring opening of the floodgates. There was no nervousness, no hesitation, we were both so in synch with each other that it blew my mind. We drove to a park and had a nightcap bowl and talked about the universe and the nature of life. For me, I felt right away that I could probably die in this girl’s arms. It just felt right on so many levels. However I believe that confidence was my downfall, that led to where I am right now, bitter and depressed and wondering if there is any hope for me.
So we planned to meet at a Canada Day rave/party, and we did, and we talked, but she seemed distant. She asked for my number and I gave it (perhaps too energetically). I talked to her a couple more times on the bus but she seemed more and more withdrawn. An email exchange or two and she informs me that this guy she’s been hanging out with is actually someone she’s seeing. They were planning to go to the Burning Man festival together.
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not some stalker type. I think too much for sure but I don’t put pressure, I don’t follow people around. I guess I didn’t keep cards my close enough to my chest, but whatever the case may be she broke off contact.
So I saw her today, on the bus, a couple of months later. It brought back all of those emotions and hopes that I had unfairly pinned on her. The thing is though, the thing that really hurt was that she didn’t acknowledge my existence. She just walked on by. Ouch did that hurt. Sort of gave the day some crappy overtones which I threw at The Kitty. Ah well he can handle it. Nonetheless I felt like shit all day and I just felt like ranting about it here. Maybe it’ll be like a catharsis… Who knows. I’d like to get her out of my head. She really did a number on me. To paraphrase Kelso from that 70’s show – “If they didn’t have such soft skin, sexy lips, deep eyes, curvacious chest and hips I’d have nothing to do with them.”

16 thoughts on “The girl from the bus”

  1. Yeah that sucz, not even I have any evil little jabs or comments to throw out. The only words that I have are words of encouragement. Any girl that will not pledge her undying love and devotion after a “nightcap bowl” to a complete stranger, well Chef you are better off without that kind of a girl….

  2. Hey! pretty good pirate impression
    OMG! I hope that never happens to me! As I always say, it is better to have never loved at all than to have lost.
    But I agree with The Kitty. Any body who goes to a rave is just lame-o. But, in all honesty, I can’t really know how you feel. I myself have never been as spontaneous as you have been. ever.
    That’s as encouraging a word as I can give. sorry.
    -Bubu 8)

  3. Hey Chef. Personally I love raves. Late hours, lots of girls wearing next to nothing etc etc.
    Wouldnt worry about the girl though. She probably hooked up with someone she had already known for a while rather than the scarey new guy. Keep smiling, with any luck her boyfriend will have an E overdose and you’ll get your chance again.

  4. You gotta understand that Winnipeg raves are different than European raves. They were quick to ban that kind of practice here unfortunately. However this rave was very nicely set up… Floors in 3 rooms throughout an art gallery (or was it a museum?). Doesn’t sound like much but when only a couple hundred people showed up it turned into a nice little party.

  5. Okay, what I really mean to say is that there are way way way way way too many girls/woman (and guys/men) in this world to be bogged down by only one. You give her way too much credit. As if she was the only one compatible with you Chef. No way. And for opportunities… a person creates his/her own opportunities. I don’t see that many opportunites myself (none actually) but if my need for companionship (female that is) was greater than my fear factor of rejection (which is quite high, sniff sniff) than I’d create plenty of opportunity for my self to get aquainted(sp?) with a girl/woman. Rejection… what an evil word. So do you fear rejection, or are you just waiting (for fun) for a girl to pick YOU up? Doesn’t society suck that way. Why must guys pick girls up? I guess it’s ultimately to our own advantage, eh?

  6. Well it’s interesting that you mention that Bubu.. I blame a lot of my problems with women on my parents raising me in a liberal equality for all environment. In my childhood I was taught that a women can do just as much as a man, so basically it’s fucked me up on the whole ‘guys have to do the picking up’ thing. I figure if women really were liberated then they should start doing the picking up as well.. however as that has yet to happen I’m a pretty lonely person. 😉

  7. It’s a numbers game. The more girls you talk to/date the more likely you will find one who is compatible with you.
    Oh… and opening lines are for movies. Try: “Hello” followed by a sincere compliment.
    Never let the fear of rejection get in the way. Succumbing to the fear of rejection is a negatively charged self fulling prophecy. Scared a girl won’t want to talk to you… well she won’t if you don’t try.

  8. it’s funny how most guys like a girl when she likes him. I have that problem. She likes me, I’m all about her.
    I’m so ashamed…..

  9. Hey man we got alot in common chef. Took me awhile to get over my shyness but it is true girls are a numbers game the more you talk to the more chances you recieve. Yeah alot of girls will lead you on because they love the attention. But don’t we all…you just gotta try harder and maybe keep em around as a friend cuz you never know when that break up will happen and they call you up for a fling or whatever.

  10. so anyway i think that poillution is bad becuse it kill are animals AND OR TREES AND POLLUTES ARE WATER AND FOOD AND WE DONT EVEN RECOGNIZE I WANT TO PROTEST SO BAD!!!! so help[ me out and give me ideas(im a boy)

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