Lame lame lame.

Yeah. That’s me. Lame. Why? Burnt out a bit. Perhaps I’m thinking too much. Perhaps I’m just lazy. I’ve been working pretty hard on a project for work and that’s eating up a lot of time. TV’s been cutting into my ‘creative time’ as well. Stupid TV. Turn off the brain, listen to what we say, believe what we want you to believe. I want to do more with my blog but I don’t know what, I want to do more with my life but I can’t make a decision. So I wait. Maybe I’m waiting for coincidences. Maybe I’m waiting for a sign. Maybe I’m waiting for the sake of waiting. Maybe I’m waiting for nothing at all. I feel like I’m in a rut, like I’m spinning my wheels too fast in the snow and going nowhere. It’s a slippery time right now, these ‘times of change’. The world is changing, forces seem to be realigning themselves. Freedom and Democracy are being packaged, shipped and sold at discount prices in your local Walmart. Truth is relative to the perception of the individual. There are no black and whites, everything is grey. Is that idea now becoming too simple? Are there any absolute truths anymore or is it all in the eye of the beholder? I don’t know anymore. I used to think I knew all the answers but now I doubt everything I’ve ever thought. Not for any particular reason, just an overwhelming sense of uselessness. What can one person really do if they can’t change just one other person’s mind?
For me, that’s where this is all coming from. If I can’t change just one persons mind, what is the point of it all? Do I even have a right to do that? Do any of us? What gives any of us the right to change a persons mind about any subject at all? Isn’t it a form of rape, of domination? A battle of the wills? A contest in depth of belief? Instead of a higher form of truth all that is emerging is a victor. That isn’t Truth, that is someone’s perception of the truth. If there are no gauges for truth then the aspiration of a higher truth becomes warfare between wills.
I can’t abide by it. It doesn’t seem right or fair that there is no absolute truth, and yet everything that I’ve read on the Internet tells me that every single one of us out there has a unique perception of the Truth and many of these perceptions are diametrically opposed to each other. Who’s right then? Whoever has the stronger will, the greater belief? It’s a circular loop. Truth is defined by the strongest will. The strongest will is based on the deepest belief. The deepest belief is learned from the dominating perception of the Truth. It never stops, it never starts. Yet this cycle seems closer to finding an answer then when the first homo sapiens huddled around a fire grunting the truths about the universe around them. Somehow in our endless domination of each other we’ve evolved societally and mentally to the point where we are today, with all our fucked up problems, with our nukes and global warming, with our religious disharmony, with our obesity and energy addictions.
If all of this truely is an experiment, if there is some god up there looking down on his children, I would surmise that he/she considers this grand experiment one great big colossal failure, a massive SNAFU of biblical proportions. I hope, I dream for humanity to remove their collective heads from their collective asses to wake up and understand the impact our lifestyle is having on our future lifestyles. The future lifestyles of our children, and their children. Many think it’s too late, many don’t care, many are waiting for Rapture to wisk them away to a fantasyland heaven and out of the hell we’ve created. Sitting around on computers debating it endlessly isn’t going to solve the world’s problems, but then what should we do? How do we stop this massively destructive, endlessly polluting, and terrifyingly brutal world from continuing on it’s ravaging course? I just don’t know. I don’t know what to do. And so I wait. Maybe I’m waiting for coincidences. Maybe I’m waiting for a sign. Maybe I’m waiting for the sake of waiting. Maybe I’m waiting for nothing at all.

11 thoughts on “Lame lame lame.”

  1. My personal environment, the farm, 8 acres that is mine, the pond & its life, the horses, the chickens, the cats, the dog, the sun (60 degrees yesterday)….never leaving the farm for a day or 2–THEN, in an instant, all is shattered and I realize that I am really just another passenger
    in this “hand basket” called EARTH, on it way to HELL. Pisses me off, Chef!

  2. Wow, where to begin? 1st I guess I would have to say this is a first due to the fact that 92.4% of what you had to say, I have found myself agreeing with or having thought or asked myself these questions as of late. Scary, perhaps we spend too much time together there Chef, but I digress.
    I question if anyone can really change another persons mind. I think if they are weaker mentally in their stance then you and submit and change their mind then you have only strong-armed them in to submission. They have chosen to change their mind to align with you. You have not changed their mind. However that is just semantics.
    To me there has to be absolute truths. If I hit you with a hammer on the head. You are going to be in pain, regardless of my perception of the truth of the event that just took place. I think it gets muddy because we allow ourselves to use perception of the truth of a fact become an excuses and we allow others to use it as and excuse and as human nature always takes things to extremes. We have let the balance be out of whack. I think there is a balance between absolute truths and perception of the truth, that when struck finds a greater thing combined then the two separate. Who gets to judge what is the balance. I don’t know. If it is majority rule of what is true, then truth is ever changing and not really truth, more popular opinion. Truth, lies, right or wrong become the equivalent to The Top 40 Pop music charts, fickle as the most popular and largest group desires.
    For myself, I doubt we will ever find all the answers in this plain of existence here on earth. And for me, that is not what life is about getting a final answer, to me life is about the journey of learning to ask the questions and looking for the answers regardless of if or when I find them.
    I would love to go on about your thread and I might later but I have to get to work. But two thumbs up on this post, Chef.

  3. Wow, Chef. You and I had the exact same meltdown at exactly the same time. These thoughts sort of took me over yesterday, and I had to wipe the slate clean and start over as far as what I believe. I think it started with discussing Apocalypse Now with some friends and realizing that the murderous, savage, “evil” Kurtz is the only person in the entire film with any scrap of logic or reason in what he’s doing. That was an unsettling thing to realize. I realized then that my beliefs in right and wrong were not necessarily linked with what makes sense. So I had a similar Nihilistic meltdown. Apocalypse Now is probably the perfect work of Nihilist fiction.
    It worries me that so many great minds are perplexed enough to feel like calling it quits. I mean, I think it’s safe to say that among the bloggers are the great philosophers of our generation, and if none of us can write a satisfying text by which whole civilzations can conduct themselves like our Egyptian, Greek, Roman, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, and renaissance European counterparts did, who can? This is sure a hopeless worldview, but what besides the very few likeminded bloggers we know is around to give us hope? I’m waiting, too.

  4. oldcatman:
    Perhaps it’s best if we get pissed off. Maybe if more people were pissed off then we could effect some change in this world.
    What you’re saying about truth always changing in a democracy is very true. Does that mean that democracy fails because it can’t find an absolute Truth? Not necessarily, but it is something to think about.
    It’s interesting, my buddy Wally just watched Apocalypse Now and was raving about it. I think I’m going to have to watch it again – it’s been many years. As for writing a ‘satisfying text by which civilizations can conduct themselves’, well that takes a whole lot of ego, wouldn’t you say? It goes back to my original post – by what measure does anyone have the right to change anothers mind?

  5. Hi Chef
    You change other minds all the time. That is the reason you have a Blog. Everyone who reads what you write is changed by what they have perceived.
    All perceptions are added to our storehouse of knowledge from which we weave the web of what we believe.
    This is how hypnosis works, this is how mind control works, this is how Religions work, this is how Governments work, and this is how Madison Avenue works.
    Our senses are our main avenues of communication with other minds in this reality, and everything we read, see, hear, smell, and touch is a perception and becomes a part of our mind/universe. Any addition, no matter how small, changes our universe. The change can have either a positive or negative influence, but with every change what we perceive as reality will also change.
    A rejected perception, if repeated often enough can grow to become accepted through its accumulating influence on the mind. Any concept, no matter how bizarre, can acquire the semblance of legitimacy through sheer repetition.
    A perception introduced when a mind is still in its infancy and has not accumulated a large store of perceptions will have a greater influence and be more acceptable. That is why the young are so easily influenced and are the main targets of Religions and Cults.
    A perception introduced to a mind with limited contact with other minds will have a greater influence.
    A perception introduced with the stimulation of multiple senses will have a greater impact and be more readily accepted.
    When an idea or perception is introduced accompanied by a combination of colors, soothing sounds and pleasant smells they will be more readily accepted.
    Any idea or perception, once it is introduced, is added to the mind/universe and will change that universe. It does not matter if the perception is accepted or rejected, it is still added to the mind/universe. Anything that is added to the mind will have an influence on that mind. Any influence changes the perceptions, and therefore changes the mind/universe.
    Right now you are suffering from the “No Santa Clause Syndrome.” All your mooring have been uprooted and you find yourself adrift in unfamiliar seas.
    When we reach a certain age, we come face to face with our own self. Who am I? Why am I here? What is life all about, and what am I supposed to do with the rest of mine?
    Our family, and the societies around us, gave us a center. When we reached that certain age, and began to think for ourselves, we lose that center. Adulthood is trying to find a new center to keep us in balance. Without something to keep us anchored, we flounder about looking for our mooring.
    Without someone to point in a direction, any direction at all, most never find their center. They continue to drift from one thing to another, never finding a purpose, or get caught in the current-of-the-day, only to find out it was just another fad and held no real answers.
    The tricky part is, there are lots and lots of people pointing in lots and lots of directions. Each proclaiming “This is the way!” Unfortunately, their path is very seldom our path.
    If we only knew from the beginning that we must find our own path and our own purpose, we may have found it a whole lot sooner.
    Sooner or later, we all must find our own purpose. No one can find it for us. Others can offer suggestions; point in a direction to search, but ultimately our center is ours alone to find. The search for our purpose is the search for happiness. Finding our purpose, is finding contentment.
    In the uncertainty of youth; when we feel lost and completely overwhelmed by the mysteries of life, it is all too easy to abandon the search and surrender to drugs and alcohol to escape the inner turmoil and despair when we discover there are no pat answers, and the illusions we held as children of assured knowledge was just that; an illusion.
    All those things that dull the senses and numb the brain, are only a temporary distraction, and either delay, or lead us astray, from finding our purpose, and what will ultimately bring us contentment.
    The Hippocratic Oath starts out-“First: Do no Harm.” I do not understand why this rule is reserved only for doctors. “Do no Harm” should be the “First Rule of Life.” We should never do harm to others, ourselves, or our fellow creatures. If we can live by this First Rule, everything else in life would be made that much easier.
    I wish you well on your journey.

  6. The problem with being introduced to all of these relative perceptions is that there is never any Truth, it’s all variations of the Truth. Does that make our goals in life to piece together as many shards of true perception to complete oneself? Or is that a misnomer, oneself. One – the great divide between Eastern and Western Philosophy. Bhuddism teaches us that we are all one, that there is no self, that the Universe is an interconnected complete network. Christianity and Islam tell us that we are individuals who will burn in hell or bum around in heaven. There’s still the element of continuing consciousness, eternal perception.
    I think we are all individuals who exist within a complete network. Our pattern is unique to our self, but our value choices affect other patterns. Every decision we make opens up a new path and closes off another. The key to happiness is choosing the path which is of highest Quality to yourself and to the other patterns around you. Remember now that every action you take affects the paths and opportunities of the people you surround yourself with.
    I think Karma is a manifestation of this philosophy. Karma tells us that making value choices of highest Quality to you and the patterns around you will result in opportunities and paths opening up that are enjoyable and positive paths to take. I think this is a good Second Rule, choose the path of highest Quality. How then do you determine Quality?
    Quality is the subject of Robert M. Pirsig most famous book, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. He talks in great detail about the nature of Quality and how it’s such a unique value choice. This is the subject of his second book, Lila : An Inquiry Into Mortals. At the root of Morals lie value choices. Morals are just convergent memes, sets of value choices that groups of individuals have commonality with. Morals are basically an abstract entity created out of complex interactions of value choices between people in our interconnected society. In a sense, I believe we create our own Gods. Although this manifestation may not necessarily have ‘Godlike’ powers, it is powerful because as a representation of the strongest belief it can sway those that allow others to make decisions for them. This is incredibly powerful in our democratic system. When manifestations of that power only choose value paths which result in immediate satisfaction then we forsake our future generations whos well being depends on the choices we make today. Is it always better to burn up rather than to fade away? I don’t think so.
    You see, existence as we have know it is a treat. It’s a marvel of perceptive sensations that we can explore and appreciate. There are so many aspects of life we can enjoy if we allow ourselfs time for a little self-indulgence. The problems occur when there’s too much self-indulgence. It is a balance, but along with indulgence there must be sacrifice, otherwise indulgence will become dominant and eventually corrupt into greed, like it does today. That seems to be a major theme in the Universe, balance. Ying and Yang, another aspect of Eastern Philsophy that resonates very deeply within me.
    I believe that we all have our own paths to follow, but the choices we make will come back and either hinder or help us. However the problem is being able to make the right choice. How do you determine Quality? Are there criteria to follow, logical math sheets to add up and evaluate? I think that this is an internal thing, that that voice that tells you you shouldn’t do something is probably right. Sometimes it benefits us to trust our gut while keeping in mind the goals you want to achieve. In the end value choices are a very personal thing, and part of what makes society so incredible. We have such a dynamic network of complexity that we are capable of great, wonderful things. We just have to believe in ourselves and the people around us. Then we will know what to.
    I apologize for the amazon links, I’d eventually like to be able to write for a living which seems to require money, unfortunately. Also, I really think everybody should read these books. I found a large shard of true perception in his writing, and I think others can as well. The Zen and the art book is quite intimidating but his second one, Lila, is more easily digested, and I believe more influential. The problem is that the concepts of the first one are critical to understanding the ideas in Lila. Quality is the prime example, and it’s something that’s hard to summarize. How do you define quality? There is no definition for quality because it’s all relative to the eye of the beholder, to the perception of the individual. This is also why there is such an onus on the individual to make the right value choice as all of our actions effect change in others around us, which in turn effect change in the ones around them. Karma waves ripple across the network, butterflies flap their wings and torandos demolish houses.
    Or is it all just chance? Do peoples houses get flattened because they made poor choices? See here’s where it breaks down. Does the possibility for a shitty, terribly life exist even if all the right choices are made? I guess it does, and that’s a part of life too. Shitty things happen to good people, and it shouldn’t, but it does. I believe if you treat it as a test of your moral fortitude then perhaps you will be rewarded by emerging in a more favourable environment the next time. Is that wishful thinking? I don’t know, but it does seem to balance out. If the universe is about balance then that probably means my next life is going to be a real unpleasant one (assuming, of course, that I’ll have another one, and that reincarnation isn’t a crock of shit).
    I want to take the time again to tell all you guys how much I appreciate these conversations we’ve been having over the last couple of months. I really think we’re a shining example of how an online community can function well. I appreciate all of your perceptions. 😉

  7. Re: Reincarnation
    I had struggled with the concept of reincarnation until a few years ago. I had been thinking about reincarnation for some and I had a revelation while I was sleeping, and it contributed greatly to my understanding of how it all works, but I’m afraid unless you believe in the spirit and soul, it will have no meaning for you.
    If you believe the mind of man is simply a chemical reaction in the brain, and thought and memory stop when the chemical reaction stops, then you will never understand or accept reincarnation.
    Reincarnation can only be possible if the mind and memory of man is separate from the body and brain. In order to remember having lived before, memory must not only survive the grave, it must also be able to be born again in a different body, different place, and a different time.
    The only way this could be possible is if the mind and memories of man, are the spirit/soul of man. Our Id; our inner self, is our spirit and our soul. We are not the bodies and brains that our spirits are attached to presently, they are but an instrument for our use, and when the brain dies, the spirit moves on to find another instrument.
    From the dream I have envisioned we acquire our spirit the moment our brain first begins to function. It is the chemical reactions in the brain that allows for the connection to take place. Think of the brain as a chemical battery; you need all the right parts in the right place before the current will flow, and once there is a current, the lights will go on.
    That current opens a window into another dimension. I have called it the Chaos; and that is what it is, but the Chaos is really just another dimension. A dimension with no physical attributes, but our physical Universe could not exist without it. It is the dimension of thought; the realm of our spirits, and the repository of memories. It is also the creator of all the other dimension needed to create our Universe. Everything that our Universe is, and everything that it will be, must first pass through this dimension before it can become reality. Our spirits dwell in this dimension, and can only pear into this universe and our brains are their instruments to do so.
    When we die, our spirits must wait for another brain to be born, and the chemical reactions in that new brain to start carrying a current before we make another connection.
    When connected to our physical brains, we forget we are still in the other dimension, we become “us,” and we get lost in our physical senses. It is only when the brain is asleep, or nearly so, that our spirits begin to remember, and can sense the other spirits and thoughts in the Chaos. As long as our focus is here; in this physical Universe, that is all we can see or feel, but once we stop looking out, and are able to pear back in, we have access to all the memories and knowledge that is contained in the dimension of Thought.
    I also saw that our spirit/soul may not be the only one attached to our brain. Though we are the main contact, other spirits can attach to our spirit and participate in our experience and even influence our thoughts and our behavior. Some for good and others…, well some others are not so good.
    When another spirit has attached itself some people can feel their presence and share in their memories. “Past Life Memories” may not be a memory of our past life, but the memory of an attaching spirit.
    I wrote this a few years ago while I was still looking for “The Truth,” and before I found Poly-Solipsism. I just updated it a wee bit here, but the real answer to your question is:
    What do you believe it to be?
    The concept of Poly-Solipsism maintains that we, and the whole Universe we perceive, exist in our own minds. Everyone of us exist in our own universe, and each of those universes are different than any other.
    Any answer I or anyone else can give to your questions are only what is perceive in our own personal universe. Every Philosophy ever written is one persons view from his or her own universe. They are offering it to you for consideration. If it harmonizes with your own, then make it a part of your universe and join them in theirs.
    Is there Reincarnation? Is there an “After Life”? Will I be rewarded in the “Hereafter’ for the good I do in this life? If I do not ‘measure up’ in this life will I be forced to do it again? These and a million other questions and concepts have no single answer.
    It all depends on what you build your universe with, and what you choose to add to it.
    There are no answers. There are only choices.
    Life is an “E Ticket” you can ride any ride you wish, but just remember. It is not our triumphs, but our failures we take to our grave.
    We will all exist in the eternity of our own choosing.

  8. Damn!! There’s that typo! Please change ‘except’ to ‘accept’
    You know, it doesn’t seem to matter how many times I reread what I write, I always miss the typos until after I hit ‘post’!

  9. Done and done.
    Your theory of reincarnation fits well with understanding that our soul, our essence is in fact just a patern of complexity in a neural network. Because that pattern is finite it can re-emerge time and time again. As to our dwelling in another dimension, well all that is just a theory, one that can never be proved or disproved. I believe however if one concentrates on how lucky we are to be alive and perceiving the universe to the degree that we do, our life will have more meaning.

  10. “An overman […] is the one who is willing to risk all for the sake of enhancement of humanity. In contrary to the ‘last man’ whose sole desire is his own comfort and is incapable of creating anything beyond oneself in any form. This should suggest that an overman is someone who can establish his own values as the world in which others live their lives, often unaware that they are not pregiven. This means an overman can affect and influence the lives of others. In other words, an overman has his own values, independent of others, which affects and dominates others’ lives that may not have predetermined values but only herd instinct.”
    From: Nietzsche’s idea of an overman and life from his point of view
    “Those Haves who cannot bear making a choice,
    Those Have-nots who are bored with having nothing to choose,
    Call for their drinks in the same tone of voice,
    Find a factitious popular front in booze.”
    Louis MacNeice quoted in: Select All

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